Tofu People

And a few hours later, I'm still sitting here, wasting my time on YouTube. It's amazing how you can be surrounded completely by people and still feel lonely. All my relatives and all their kids and all their drama and all their lives. 

It's not that I want what they have; god no. They're all married and breeding like rabbits, and they have to arrange for their own eating times because someone has to hold their babies. I mean, what the fuck. I had a conversation today with my stepmom about how kids probably aren't for me. She says they weren't for her, either, and I guess at 50-whatever it's too late to change your mind. She said I should freeze my eggs, but in my head I'm like, yea, that costs money, I'll never bother. If on the .000% chance I get to that point, there's always adoption. Yuck.

But here's the other thing she said to me: those people, they lose their personalities. And when you ask them later, they say their kids were their personality. They don't just associate themselves with their kids, they identify themselves with their kids. The thought of it makes me shudder. It's a lot like what Jude said getting married was like. And at first, that disenchants me entirely of the thought of family life. But objectively, I have to step back and say, now hold up. Maybe, just maybe, not everyone is like that. Maybe some of them are just boring people. Tofu people. They just soak up the flavor of what's around them, and still mostly taste like tofu, and the other food tastes less like itself and more like tofu too. Which is gross and creepy, but I think a good analogy. Some people are really boring. They have no personality of their own, they just sap it from others, and add nothing to human discourse. They define themselves by their routine, and if their routine happens to be staying home and raising kids, then of course their personality will be their kids. If you find yourself around one of these people, and you say you like something, they will say, oh my husband hates that, or my kids love this. Well that's fucking great. What do you think? And then the answer is some wishy washy I don't know. 

I hate being around them. Outside of their children's needs, they never know what they want to eat or do, they never have anything useful or interesting to add to conversation, they need your help deciding on clothing, they never take responsibility for anything that goes wrong. It's the embodiment of everything I hate in human society, except maybe racism and genocide and rape and such. Their husbands go mindless, and spend as much time away as possible, assuming they aren't also tofu people. Oh, and that's the worst. Tofu couples? Shoot me.

But there's a solution, world, and here it is: don't marry tofu people, and don't have kids with tofu people. Your life can be interesting always and forever if you always spice it up. Keep a bottle of curry in your pocket, despairing romantics of the world! Someone exciting is waiting for you!

And as for you, my dear, I miss you terribly. And you do not taste like tofu.